| Trying to resurect my dead journal from the grave |
[December 18, 2007 | 01:17 AM] |
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Alright, I am really going to put in an effort here to stop completely ignoring my journal it got me to vent a lot of my pent up anger when I needed it the most. Mostly, I just use facebook though. So here I'm going to give it the old college try to update this bad boy.
Alright, so a lot has happend since my last update, but seeing as how it's past one in the morning, I'm going to do this is point form as to to the point as I possibly can.
-Boy who I loved, has a girlfriend and in turn.. did not feel the same way as I did for him. That's alright, I cut my losses and I move on.
-In fact, I moved right along... and now in a relationship apparantly. But the problem is, he's an old flame. Random.
-Dating my old flame served to be another problem when another blast from the past decided they still had feelings for me.
Great, so now my life sounds like an episode of 90210. At least it's flattering to know I still attract the opposite sex. Harhar. Hmmm.. what else to update.
-I don't think I want to do what I'm taking in school anymore. Uh oh. I think next year I want to go for a Bachelor of Arts, let's see how my parents will handle the news. I plan to break it to them, sometime over christmas break.
-I'm nervous to get my exam marks back, I don't think I did as well as I wanted to. Bummer, because I studied very hard for them.
-Visited with Stefani in Red Deer for a few days, was a drunken blur. Hopped on a plane and came to my parents house for the holidays.
-Scared, financially. What else is new.
-Don't want to live in residence next year I think. Looking quite possible of living with school chum Ashley, Rachel and possible Marilee.
Besides about a million thoughts on my mind right now, so far my break from school has proven to be relaxing. I played Guitar Hero for the first time with my sister, she kicked my ass. She really is a champion at that game. Ugh, just as I am writing this I get a text message from... a boy... who I kinda like. COMPLICATED. Cause I'm dating another boy. We'll seems like I will have a lot to write about for a while anyways.
I kinda missed you old friend, you really made me realize how petty some of my problems were. Thanks LJ.
To everyone else out there, Happy Holidays. I'm looking forward to reading your updates, time to start catching up on my reading!
xxx
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[November 11, 2007 | 02:10 AM] |
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Well here's what's going down.
I'm in love with a boy, who doesn't even realize it. He's so blind, but I don't know how to tell him I love him. I honestly do LOVE him. UGH UGH UGH UGH FEELINGS SUCK. I wrote a longer entry, but the internet sucks and it erased, so here is my half ass attempt to post somethin in my dead journal. Nothing really matters. :)
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[October 14, 2007 | 12:58 AM] |
Things change. Seasons change. People change. Friends change. We all change, I just wish sometimes it was change for the better, and not for the worse. I don't even know who my real friends are sometimes, I put too much trust in them and then they stab me in the back. I can't believe some of shit people say about you. People tell you to not believe what they say, don't take it to heart. But it's hard when it's so much, and it's terrible stuff that really does affect your life and what they think of you.
I've been in a hard place this week, I miss my family.
I miss feeling the confidence to trust those around me, although some people I trust with all my heart.. I never know what's going to happen anymore. I've been hurt by too many people and it's starting to sink in that you can't trust anyone in the world.
And although I'm with people, I feel really alone. I know if you are reading this entry you probably think I am being over-dramatic and silly but seriously. I think we have all felt alone in the world, at one time another even though you were surrounded by people.
I'm frustrated, scared, confused. It's hard not to be able to control what's going on anymore because I have no control over what people say or do. But I know that once people rumors and lies start to affect how I'm seen through the eyes of others that it has to stop somewhere. I've worked too hard to get where I am today, to have this ruined by people who have nothing but time on their hands to make others feel miserable.
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[October 01, 2007 | 03:18 AM] |
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Sweet jesus world of Livejournal. It's been a long time...
Things are good right now. Complicated, but good none of the less.
Love living somewhere other than Fort Crack, but stoked about returning there this weekend for Thanksgiving.
I miss my family more than anything in the world, and I can't wait to give my sister her birthday present! :)
Broke up with Matthew, things are just so jumbled. But things are good, it just felt right to break up with him.
I loved him with all my heart, but I couldn't do it. I couldn't commit to long distance. If it's meant to be, things will
fall into place. If not then what we had was nice and it was a change for me. I've never felt that way about a boy before.
Can't sleep lately. Still no roomie moved in yet. Not really much out of the ordinary to report. There is one person in the world
right now that even thinking about them makes my skin crawl. You just annoy me, I never thought I would feel that way about someone.
But even your voice sounds like nails on the chalkboard to me. Ugggggh.
Enough of being sketchy! I'm going to wrap this bitch up.
See you on the flip side journal, maybe I'll write in you soon.
-S
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[August 24, 2007 | 02:49 AM] |
Note to self:
Packing up your room is a real bitch. :(
My room feels empty already.
xxx
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| ttfn |
[August 03, 2007 | 02:35 AM] |
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So I'm gone on vacation now, I'll be gone in Vancouver till August 20th.
Happy early birthday to me in advance, I'm going to be 19 bitches! Legal in Canada!
Wooohooo party! But not really cause I'm with my family, so what am I supposed to do... drink by myself? Or with my dad? Bah!
Anyways, what the hell am I going to do for like 2 weeks without Perezhilton.com ! I'm seriously freaking out here!
Take care xxx
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[July 31, 2007 | 10:40 AM] |
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So this morning I got a call from my Daddy in Calgary. My grandmother (on my mothers side) has passed away. I've never really had a death in the family, I've been really lucky with that. I know that they would eventually pass on, but news of this just blew me out of the water this morning. I've been online all morning booking flights for my mom who is going back to Ontario for the funeral. Daddy, Brianna and I have to stay in Alberta but I really wish I could be back in Ontario with family right now. That's where I really want to go.
We're stil going on summer vacation, my mom is going to meet up with us in Vancouver.. but it's really weird. I mean the more I think about it , the more I realize I will never see my grandma ever again. I've been crying a lot about it, I thought really since I didn't get to see her all the time I wouldn't react so bad. But I'm really devestated. My thoughts are with my family right now, I really wish Mommy and Daddy were home here right now and not in Calgary. My sister hasn't really showed any remorse at all, and thinks I'm stupid for crying over it. But I guess people show they're emotions in different ways.
REST IN PEACE GRANDMA, I LOVE YOU. XOXO
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| "You have been very brave." |
[July 24, 2007 | 05:44 AM] |
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Finally finished Harry Potter. Oh. My. God. I'm still trying to digest everything that happend. I thought I was going to have a heart attack my heart pounded so much from the suspense. Hats off to JK, you rich bitch you. But I had to admit, the ending was pretty weak... I wish the editors just took that part out and left it how it originally ended.
I have to say thought, it was a very overall satisfying book. It's one of my favorites for sure, along with Half-Blood Prince. I'm kind of feeling sad though, I meant that's the last of Harry Potter. Forever. Gah!
Reading the book though, makes me want to buy a snake and have magical powers. :-(
I guess the closest thing I can do is buy myself a snake, and marry Daniel Radcliff. Bahahaha.
Nightynight.
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